I have to admit I fluctuate back and forth between secretly hating all the new year’s resolutions clogging up my news feed and a sudden burst of energy and new determination for some of the things I would like to see differently in my life. Like the typical ones, yes please! I would love to lose weight and yes! I would like to read thru the Bible this year and yes! I would like to think I can yell less at my children and yes! I would love to be debt free…the list goes on. But when I sit and ponder my mind flies a hundred different directions and I wonder what is really important? What can I aim for this year to really make a difference in my life and in the lives of those I love?
2013 was a beautiful but tough year. Our little family faced disappointments, with the most “fresh” one being the big deal of missing Christmas at Nana’s due to Lexi’s being in the hospital. Another biggie was hubby and I missing out on a whole week’s worth of celebration in honor of our anniversary because Kali was in the hospital. (yup, this natural minded, “crunchy” mama has had way to much hospital this year!) Probably the most stressful part of the year started when I got a call from my sister saying my dear mom was having a stroke. I still tear up thinking of all the emotions gripping at my heart as I beheld my strong vibrant mother helpless as a small child. Tough and not necessarily fun stuff….
The “prettier” side of the year was wrapped up in small presents and handed to us gradually just as we needed them… Kali has become more confident in her reading and I am now delighting in catching her sitting reading to her siblings. Both of our girls who had hospital stays and my mama are thriving and becoming healthy again. Hunter finally got his 2 front teeth out (after the new ones made their full show right behind). We got some precious time with Nana & Pawpaw in the fall when we met them in St Louis for a short vacation. Abby is finally sleeping in her big girl bed and not wondering aimlessly thru the house at all hours of the night. All of these may seem pointless and small, not really anything to make a big deal about, but they are gifts none the less….
I love finding the good which is present indeed in any circumstance. When Kali was in the hospital, she beautifully portrayed the simple love of Jesus to “mean man doctor” (as I referred to him) and to the nurses some of who had never heard the sweet simple song, “Jesus Loves Me”. When mama had her stroke, my siblings and I grew closer then we have ever been . When Lexi’s hospital stay resulted in us missing our vacation we actually benefited in catching up on some serious sleep deprivation and we had some stay at home as a family time even if it was forced.
Recently Hunter had some bad dreams that made it hard for him to rest. Ironically his Bible verse that we have been working on is from Psalms where it says simply, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in THEE”. I urged him to lay quietly with his flashlight in hand and simply quote that verse when ever he felt afraid. It calmed his restlessness almost instantly as he lay there and quoted that verse. The first night I heard him say it over and over and then just like that he was asleep and has been doing fine since.
Perhaps the most important resolutions include attempting to be more childlike in my faith and looking more intentionally for what God is doing even when life isn’t exactly how I want. After all no matter what comes our way, Zephaniah 3:17 says “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Who can’t burst forth with joy at promises like that?!