I have come that they might have life and might have it abundantly…John 10:10
This week as I sat with a new friend, she spoke some words that have been long tumbling about in my heart. They came out something like this…
What if Christ’s church could truly grasp the need for prayer for the marriages in its midst?
Though I had just officially met her about an hour before, the passion in her eyes and the tears that accompanied her words matched one of the deepest passions in my heart, a passion most likely growing there because of my own marriage’s history.
If you have been here with me for very long, you may have heard me sharing tidbits of God’s miraculous healing in our marriage. Though we are so very far from perfect, we have come a long way from the two hurting people we were during one of the most difficult seasons of our 24 years together.
Lowell & I have often pondered the responses of well meaning family and friends during our 11 month separation. We have talked about how things could maybe have taken a different path, had we, in our hurt not helped the social circles around us draw those lines in the sand and “create sides”. While wall building and side taking can seem like natural responses when people we love go through difficult relationships, especially in marriage, this may not be the response that ends up promoting the most healthy outcomes.
((Now I’m going to stop right here and say that I do firmly believe there are exceptions! If you or someone you love, lives in an abusive marriage where there is physical danger, some “side taking” may need to take place in order to bring the abusive spouse to the help they need.))
I also am well aware that openly hurting marriages draw attention. People talk and suspect and pass judgement. Of this, I too am guilty.
But here again, my personal experience kicks in and reminds me of the pain of that judgement in a time when my heart was already in a million teeny tiny pieces.
My new friend went on to say how she felt that we as Christians need to motivate one another towards flourishing marriages, realizing that it is God’s calling on us to live life (which includes our marriages..) well and not just merely getting by.
What if we were more transparent with the struggles we face in our marriages? I firmly believe that no matter how well a marriage looks to others, there is still always room for growth and encouragement. My heart has broken again recently as I’ve watched people I love reach the broken place of divorce after appearing “just fine” to those of us around them.
What if we spent as much time teaching on the healthy gift of God honoring marital sex as we do telling our young people to abstain and wait for marriage? Now I am not saying that great sex is the answer to all marriage problems, but as I have read more of what the Bible says about this amazing gift, I think it could be given a little more attention then it is! I won’t get on my soapbox right now….
What if we worked as a church to encourage one another in our marriages by finding and providing tools to help marriages thrive? For Lowell and I, traditional Christian marriage conferences only served as just another miserable weekend and a space to argue. Not until we found Mark Gungor’s “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Series”, did we truly begin to understand each other and gain the ability to embrace our differences. Does that mean that particular conference is the only way to encourage marriages? Absolutely not! Marriage encouragement just like marriage itself, is NOT one size fits all.
What if we really did spend more time on our knees for our own marriages and for those marriages around us realizing the miracle containing power our prayers can contain?
James 5:16 hits the nail on the head where it says, “Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much….”
As I have said before, I would love to pray for you! And I would love it if you would do the same for me! May our focus be on the one who can indeed cause our lives to flourish!