Category: relationships

Before We Even Finish Speaking: God’s Daily Delightful, Abundant & Exciting Provision

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I was reading in Genesis this week about Abraham sending his servant to fetch a wife for his beloved son, Isaac. The servant seemed apprehensive about this project and when he arrived at Abraham’s hometown, he got off his camel and started to pray. He asked God for his help and provision in finding a wife for his master’s son. Genesis 24:15 says that before he had even finished speaking, God had already in an amazing string of events, brought Rebekah to the exact location where he was waiting.

God is beyond amazing like that! I love watching for the ways he blesses us precisely, sometimes before we even finish praying.

I’ll be the first to admit that I may not always be as persistent in my prayers as God has called me to be. I might be lazy or distracted and shamefully may even “forget” to ask him for his provision for myself or those I love. He has been so patient with me in this and consistently sends me reminders of his love and care. I, in my unworthiness do not deserve any of his goodness or lavish gifts. But, He is faithful. I have been deeply convicted lately about one of our biggest jobs being to share his faithfulness with the generations around us. Our stories of His faithful provision shine a light brightly on His desire for relationship with us and the lost world around us.

I was thinking about one of my earliest adult memories of His provision that showed his care for even the smallest desire in my heart. I was newly graduated from high school and had just entered the work force. It was time to purchase a car of my own, so in the way my parents had taught me, I began to pray. I remember distinctly as I ended one of the first prayers about this, asking God if He wouldn’t mind looking our for a car in my very favorite color – burgundy. Soon after, an ad showed up in the local paper. I eagerly called the number which ended up being a local youth pastor who I knew, and could trust! As I asked questions about the car, everything fell into place. At the end of the conversation, I suddenly remembered to ask about the color. There was a pause, then the answer came. “Well it’s kind of reddish like maybe burgundy….” God, in his generosity saw fit to answer not only the prayers for a dependable car, but gifted it to me in my very favorite color as well.

Now as the middle aged me, He has been showing up in fresh ways that are catching my attention pretty much daily. I am on a path to financial freedom and have been seeing Him intentionally answer in this journey as well. A few weeks ago, I felt a nudge to get busy on my fall lotion stock. (yup I did not intend to be the lotion lady, but here I am.) I analyzed my budget and didn’t think I was quite ready to make the needed supplies purchases when I felt a quiet prompting in my heart. “Dorothy, don’t you think I can sell the needed lotions so you have the funds you need to make more? Can you trust me with this?” I remember feeling a little embarrassed and sheepishly answered “of course!” and named a needed dollar amount. Would you know, with in 3 days God had sold almost double what was needed!

These are just two examples of God’s faithfulness to me, but His daily gifts to each of us are innumerable really. As I have been more mindful in listening, I celebrate his faithful appearances in the lives of my loved ones as well. In the not to distant past, he provided a tree branch to grab onto for someone who was falling down a cliff (literally). His provision for another friend whose need for physical help for projects around her home was miraculous in that HE provided before she even asked out loud. HE provided the exact kind of medical staff in a third world country (not just general but precise) for a missionary friend’s health needs. While these are not my stories to share, HE gets the credit. God is beyond amazing and deserves every ounce of praise we can muster! He is good!

Psalm 89:1 “I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever. With my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.

Finding Rest in a Restless World

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 NIV

Those who know me well will tell you I don’t rest well. I may be a great sleeper, but sitting at rest is challenging for my ever wandering mind. There are always chores to do, people to feed or loved ones needing time and attention. Over the past years, however, God has shown me over and over that he desires my resting time as much as he needs me to do the busy things he has created me to do. So, I am making efforts to carve out times to just sit and be still.

For me, being restless hasn’t just been the actual physical busy I find myself consumed with, but also the busy in my soul and mind. Last week after Kali left, I found myself in a new and very unknown stage where I was not familiar with the emotions or the ways my mind would run. I couldn’t understand the tightening in my chest, or the way that tears would constantly show up in unexpected spaces. I know some of that is indeed the changing of seasons but I found something else tucked quietly behind one of those walls in my brain that provided a big ah-ha moment.

One day as I was putting something away in Kali’s room, it was as if I heard a quiet voice saying “she’s not dead…she just grew up.” Duh! All of a sudden it hit me. My body was processing and equating this season with Abby’s leaving. Now the way my chest constricted made sense. I had felt these things in very real and painful ways before. My brain knew about those and so that is the path it took. I was able to verbalize my realization with a dear praying friend who validated what I was feeling. It felt good just saying it out loud and God used those moments to bring my heart to peace. I am so thankful for our sweet Father, who blesses us with all the parts and pieces we need to find true rest in Him. He is good.

**Completely on a side note here! Not a paid promotion! If you need God honoring Biblical based help in this area of the power of the brain, my friend, Iva has been a great resource to me personally in this area!

**Photo compliments of my Kali from her Costa Rican travels.

Minutes & Seasons – A Timely Space For Parenting Myths and Other Conundrums

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Autumn brings out that organizing and nesting part of my nature. Not that it isn’t present all the other seasons, but I get great satisfaction in pulling out my bin of fall decor and shaking some extra cinnamon on my hot chai.

While beautiful, September isn’t always an easy time as it marks the month my last baby, our precious Abby, was born (9/14/10) and reminds us of her absence in our midst. This year I find myself extra nostalgic about how fast my other babies have grown up. I find myself a bit apprehensive about the days and weeks ahead. Kali, our oldest, graduated from high school in May of this year, with highest honors I might add which is an absolute blessing for someone who is a diagnosed dyslexic. This grand occasion hurdled Lowell and I into uncharted territory…that place of having adult children.

I have always, from day one, adored being a mama. After nearly 10 years of infertility, my children are truly my gifts directly from heaven and a dream come true. While I had not had homeschooling on my radar, as time with my precious ones went on and it came time to make those schooling decisions, it was what we chose. I really had no idea if it would be something we would do long term. Apparently after 14 years, I guess it was a good fit though we have had a lot of various combinations along the way. Kali chose our local public school for high school which was the perfect fit for her. She was strong and rooted in her faith and shone God’s light brightly where ever she went. She developed an amazing network of Godly friendships, some of which continue post high school and have had far reaching blessings for our entire family. Hunter has always been super content to be home with me and has done a combination of home school and added in music at the public school, which has been his flourishing spot for sure. This year, Lexi joins him at the public school for marching band and also in her main area of interest, Culinary labs! We have found our perfect niche in that combo contrary to the myth that homeschoolers must always be just that – learners at home only. I am so so grateful for the options available in our district and state!

Somewhere along the line though, I missed the memo about how releasing our babies into the big wide world is not for the faint of heart. While I am fiercely proud of Kali and the beautiful woman of God she is, sending her far away (Costa Rica!) for an extended period of time (10 months!) is not all that jolly of a time, busting another myth that kiddos leaving home is just the best.

A hundred thoughts crash through my brain as I contemplate how normal of an occurrence launching children is. I wonder what my own mother felt as I left home and moved a state away soon followed by my little sister who moved several states away. I could never have comprehended the whale of emotion that accompanies this process. I am sure there are books somewhere on the subject but I am more of a have-a-friend-tell-me-about-it kind of person. As I have initiated conversation with other wise women who have walked this path ahead of me, I have gleaned many helpful realizations. People do this every day. I am most certainly not the first person on the planet to experience these emotions. While there is great joy in releasing our birdies to fly where God has obviously called them, there is also grief of sorts at the final closure of a huge and enormous chapter that has encompassed so much of our life as we know it. And yes, I am sitting here making lots of typing errors because of the leaking problem my eyes are encountering as I process exactly where we are. Never again will our household be just like it has been for the last 18 and a half years. While my assumption is that I will again have my 3 all living under my roof again, it won’t be in the same format and I know I have a whole lot to learn about being a parent to grown up children.

While my teenagers are most certainly not perfect and have blessed me with a few gray hairs, they are among my most favorite people! I am ecstatic that God has shared them with us for these minutes making up our family’s times and seasons thus far. And I am filled with the hope of enjoying a great many more joy filled moments together in the seasons he brings our way. He is so good!

My Adult Child #1 (Definitely not used to that term yet..)

My one and only son and high school senior
My beautiful and taller than me now newly licensed driver…

Us! In one of our favorite places…

Remembering Abby – Gone but never ever forgotten (9/14/10 – 7/15/14)

I Belong

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Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable – Bondai People Proverb

Recently I sat with a sweet friend who began to share some of her life story with me. I wept as the horrific details spilled out. It was more than I could almost fathom as she shared of her childhood and the shattered life she had endured and somehow miraculously survived. Her tween and teen years were saturated with ongoing abuse and pain. I felt like vomiting as I listened to her share. My heart broke for her. For many nights after I could not sleep just reliving what she had shared.

I first met her many years ago. She stepped into my circle when we both had babies, when her family began to attend my church. I remember meeting her and distinctly remember enjoying her sweet, kind personality. What I did not know, is the horrid things that were happening to her inside what should have been safe and welcoming walls of that church. It was not what Jesus called us his bride, the church, to be – a hospital for the sick.

People who had no idea of the magnitude of her trauma constantly taunted and belittled her, driving the lies of the enemy deeper into her soul. The words “you don’t belong here” were physically spoken to her in multiple situations.

I can not fathom what prompted such a response from people professing to love and follow Jesus. It made and continues to make me angry. I know the people behind some of those comments and I want to walk up and shake and scold them. I know we are human and make mistakes. But when are we as the church of Jesus going to come together and be what HE called us to be?

The enemy of our souls is absolutely delighted when he sees these kinds of stories unfolding. He wants more than ever to keep each of us bound up in the lies we begin to believe, thinking there is no place we really belong. Truth is, we don’t really belong here. But while our home is heaven, we are called to be a body of believers (a place of belonging) here who binds up the wounds of others, encourages one another and walks in true holiness like Jesus with skin on.

Recently some personal events in my life, sent me on a spiral to a deep pit of discouragement which I did not like to be stuck in. The voices in my head tormented me with the lies of the evil one convincing me that I did not really have a place or group where I really belonged.

Realizing this was not a place I wanted to stay, I reached up and out and through a series of events, God has connected me in some pretty amazing ways to people who struggled along side me and helped me crawl up out of that dark place. He also brought resources like my pretty much all time favorite book, “Find Your People” by Jeannie Allen and somehow surrounded me with a magnificent army of prayer warriors who pray me through anything.

I still struggle with darkness at times. I think we all do if we are honest. The battle is real and continues to rage until we get to heaven! I know now who my people are and where I belong. Do I still have ugly bouts of insecurity? Yup! But I am finding more confidence and help in refuting the enemies’ lies with God’s truths!

And, I am placing myself on active duty in the war against hurt and pain that happens inside God’s hospital for the sick. As I continue to think and pray about this issue, the question that keeps popping up is this: What if we as a church greeted people with “Let me hear your story…” instead of shooting those evil, self righteous, nauseating to the heart of God, arrows of ” You don’t belong here…” What if instead of looking down our noses at people who are different from us, we embraced them as the beautiful creations of God that they are and made every effort to walk with them in their messy pain and trauma.

We are all messy. We all face defeat and discouragement but as members of God’s family we do have a place where we are known and loved and where we really do belong!

The Best Prize

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“The days are long but the years are short “- Gretchen Rubin

Nobody ever mentioned to me when I was in the thick of exhaustion in the jungles of diaper changing, wiping 4 snotty noses and toting a million pound diaper bag on my hip that while those days were busy and hard, how equally hard it would be to be standing at the brink of new phases in my children’s lives like the one I am currently in.

I officially have a high school senior. And while I could be in much “older” phases and stages, here is where I am, thanks to 8 years of infertility. I love where we are. It is so much fun watching my children fashion themselves into the free thinking, unique, amazing almost adults that God has created them to be.

It’s really started sinking in that my birdies are so much closer to stretching their wings and flying from the nice safe nest we have provided for them. As I ponder that, part of me worries that I didn’t do enough to prepare them for life and that maybe they won’t be successful in their endeavors which will of course reflect my parenting. But, this! this time, this very age and stage is part of their own God given journey. As I reflect a little deeper, I know that our biggest goal has been to raise God honoring beautiful humans who will carry HIS love into our dark and often hopeless world.

Why haven’t I heard much about this stage? Maybe I wasn’t listening well? I realize that this stage is so much more “private” then the stages of posting the funny quotes of my 3 or 4 year old. Now mom’s Instagram is suddenly old school and I post more cautiously so as to protect and hopefully not embarrass my loves. Watching them navigate new relationships and praying more fervently then ever that God will bless them in their quests as they honor him is suddenly not really about me at all. The fun and sometimes outright amazing scoop on those relationships is not mine to spill.

I have one more school year with my oldest then she’s got plans that quite frankly terrify my on one hand and make me so proud I could burst on the other. I already set some boundaries on my calendar for the next year. I want to be more present, a lesson I never thought I’d need to relearn. I am looking for those memory making special opportunities like the one I happened upon this week. It’s so simple, it made me feel silly at its obviousness.

Recently I attended a party where we were invited to take a jar of homemade salsa for the birthday girl to judge. I used to be known for my salsa and really did enjoy making it! But I got busy. Low and behold out of the 8 entries, my salsa was picked by the birthday girl as “the winner”. I told my family as they hungrily watched me spoon the last spoonfuls into the jar that they could have the leftovers.

There really wasn’t any left and I heard my family muttering in the background about who was going to be the lucky one to finish the remaining bites of mom’s prize winning salsa. Over the next few days I made more to take to a dinner and again heard the wishes of those I love most who still were hungry for my salsa.

Tonight it hit me how simple it would be to make a batch for them, so I did. I chopped and diced and added all my secret ingredients because somehow like my mama before me, my recipes don’t always seem to turn out so well when I try to relay to my kiddos how to make them. I put it on the top shelf of the fridge with a note that said “because I love you…”

You should have heard the squeals when it was discovered.

The best things in life are like that. Simple. Mundane sometimes. Little. Not necessarily prize winning but important none the less.

Impossible Possibility

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Recently something happened in my day that gave me a flashback to some pretty scary moments that happened over two decades ago. Lowell & I were serving as missionaries in Haiti where we lived close to the beautiful Caribbean, far out in the boondocks away from the civilized world we were used to here at home. Electricity came and went and warm showers were a treat. Mostly we enjoyed the beautiful countryside, learning another language, rice, beans and goat from the roadside stand, and year around sunshine.

We had been there several months when I got super sick with what ended up being malaria. Lowell had gone out into the fields to help on a project, leaving me alone. I knew I was pretty sick and when the thermometer beeped at 103.8 I knew I had to get help as nothing I was doing to help myself was working. With blurred vision, I wobbled out to the closest working truck and climbed in praying that God would let me find Lowell. I don’t remember a lot of the rest of that day. I just knew I was ever so cold from the air conditioner blasting on me as Lowell and our mission director, Leon bounced me along the almost impassable road on what normally was a 3 hour trip to the closest American doctor and his mission hospital. My tongue refused to cooperate when Lowell asked me questions. I was trapped alone in my head which was throbbing with pain unlike I had ever experienced before. I do remember telling Lowell that if I died, I didn’t want to be buried in Haiti. He struggled to understand what I was saying and kept trying to yank whatever covers I could secure away from my tight grasp. As we bumped along, the words from a song I knew and loved ran through my mind….”God likes to work when nothing else will. God likes to work when your back’s to the wall. When faith’s in the balance and you’re just about to fall…. They’ll be no mistaking when he blesses and heals….God likes to work when nothing else will.” They tell me I actually was humming in my delirium and it makes sense because even though all else is fuzzy, that song was on constant replay. When we finally got to the hospital compound, they gave me meds and finally let me have a small blanket. I have a faint recollection of the kind doctor praying as he checked me over. Then I was asleep.

When I awoke late the next morning, my fever had finally broken. My road to recovery was not easy but God did choose to allow complete healing.

I have thought back to those moments many times and have often referred to them as one of my Rock Ebeneezer moments, those spaces in time where God shows himself faithful despite what looks like impossibility. Living in a third world country provided many occasions to realize how necessary it is to see God for who HE really is! When the comforts we are accustomed to are not readily available or easily accessible, we are often “forced” into trust which is really where we should “land” first. After all, our Creator God, Abba Father and Divine Healer is much more capable than any human sources we may surround ourselves with. HE is so good…

Here’s a link to”my” song 😉

Luke 1:37 – For with God NOTHING shall be impossible…

Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.…

On a side note, the country of Haiti is currently in a time of tremendous unrest leaving most missions unable to be in the country to minister. Pray for the safety of our Haitian brothers and sisters and wisdom for the missions God has called to that hurting country!

Peopling

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I am married to a dear man who creates his own words. As I was pondering the title of this particular writing, I decided to look into if peopling was actually a word or if hubby was wearing off on me.

The Urban Dictionary notes peopling as the ability to tolerate people and their stupidity as well as your own stupidity in a public place. Hmmm. Not all that flattering of a definition. I like to think of “peopling” as being out and about mingling and interacting.

As a younger me, my sanguine self was quite adept at peopling, content to flit about hither and yon interjecting my bubbly self into many unique and fun settings, making action happen if life was to quiet. If all else failed I could always bring a scone or some of my fresh salsa and life would be right side up again. As I have gotten older, my desires to mingle and interact have morphed into different and sometimes unfamiliar shapes. The past decade has brought several major life traumas to our family necessitating huge changes in locale for us which resulted in uprooting and needing to readjust to new faces and places. This, if I am completely honest has been brutal for my 40 something brain to process and cope with. Starting over with friendships on quite a few levels has been overwhelming. It’s not easy breaking into circles that have been established for long periods of time, sometimes decades. I have compared myself to the Israelites after they left their bondage in Egypt. I know with out a shadow of a doubt that we are in much healthier places but I still miss the “leeks and the garlic” of Egypt which were the established comfortable routines like having monthly planned activities with other families and friends, having persons who love and appreciate my scones, and having someone to go camping with in the summer time. Being older and tireder and wondering what I have to offer, plagues the epicenter of my thoughts as I dream of being settled and comfortable in relationships.

Now I am not over here in some black hole but some days I am sad at how lonely I feel. (Important Side Note: I promise I do have a real friend or two.) As I have come to grips with the current season, I have become more aware and intentional. I listen and watch and hear other people’s hearts and the scary and sad, but somewhat hopeful in a very strange way thing is, I am not alone in this. People are lonely. People around me are lonely. People who sit around me at church, in my job, at my kids’ school are lonely. Loneliness is reaching epidemic levels. How do I know? People have told me so. Some say it just like that. Others say it more subtly. People are even writing books about it. Jennie Allen in her book “Find Your People” says this – God said it after he made the first man. It is not good for man to be alone. So, as messy as relationships might be, we can not live life alone. Allen goes on to share ways to find your circle of people.

I have often thought with humor about how it might look to run an ad for friendship with the same theme as those singles ads that used to run in the Sunday paper. Wanted: Family Friendships. Prefer imperfect family units. Grumpy dads and helicopter moms acceptable. Love of camping, porch sitting, low country boils, veggie tales music and nut pickout nights a plus. Or Wanted: Christ Honoring Female Friendship. Prefers slightly bulgy, non perfect 35-65 year old female. Listening skills a plus. Must love Jesus, speaking the truth in love and celebrating life events together.

If it were only that easy right?!

One of the issues we face is we are to busy. Way to busy.

Secondly, we live in an era where 500 or even a 1,000 social media friends is the norm. Sadly, 100 likes on a post is not even any where close in value to a simple conversation in person with a real honest to goodness unadulterated person. We have become a dehumanized people hiding behind the screens of our phones and laptops where sadly we can say mean and hurtful things and even post anonymously only feeding the giant monster of loneliness and despair.

I am convinced that if each one of us took the time to work on building relationships in person, this epidemic of lonely people would diminish. But how do we do so?

I love what it says in Hebrews 10. Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up the habit of meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another…

I do not want to take things out of context and I certainly don’t profess to be a deep theological student, digging into the back meanings and greek and hebrew meanings but am more of a words at face value kind of gal. I kinda like how this verse actually just spells some things out. Sound simple? Not exactly. Peopling IS messy, this we know for certain, and takes work but can truly bring about the biggest blessing in a lonely world.

Who’s with me?

What Grief Is Not

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As the ebb and flow of my own personal grief continues, I remain astounded at the fragile sometimes painful ties that bind my heart to others who grieve. 

Conversations especially with other mamas who have lost often turn to what might be our own triggers for the resurfacing of what we thought was done like the way even driving past the giant University of Iowa hospital inevitably brings a fresh inability to breathe.  It doesn’t ever feel silly to express. In those moments each of us is completely understood.

Today for my husband’s hand surgery, we actually parked in the same spot in the endless parking garage where our van had been parked when we had to leave the hospital without her. I remember walking out holding my children’s hands, feeling like I was naked or like I must have forgotten my purse.  

Also noted is the keen awareness of loss when someone we know is experiencing trauma or shattering loss. My sweet friend Gloria, who I have actually not met in person, is living that as I type. She was a faithful prayer warrior as Abby lay connected to tubes and wires. She has checked in on me despite the miles since.  Now her young adult son is fighting for his very life as the result of a tragic accident in snowy Indiana weather over New Years. (prayers appreciated for her son, Collin) Watching her story from afar, rips the band aid off of my own grief and brings remembering the emotions and moments of our own story to the forefront.

Living through tragedy is an unwanted connection with people you may not have even noticed prior. It has often been a lifeline, a blessing in disguise but is not something one would wish on one’s worst enemy. 

Dusting off these emotional boxes of stuff I wish could just vanish, brings to mind things I have indeed learned through the process. People often ask me how to reach out when someone has lost or is living tragedy. While I wish there were a pat answer that would work across the board, there is not. Each of us is uniquely created by God not only physically, but emotionally so what may be helpful to me may mean next to nothing to some one else with similar circumstance. 

Recent conversation has once again freshened some things that remain at the top of the list that I share when someone really wants to know how to best reach out to others who hurt.  

#2. Grief is NOT a time for judgement.  

This is a tough one to navigate. Life has consequences. If my choices include over indulgence in smoking or drinking, my physical body may live out consequences like liver damage. If I choose to be morally “loose” with sexual standards, I may reap the consequence of a sexually transmitted disease. Overeating may result in diabetes or other weight related issues. The list could go on. 

While I do believe that our Creator God is just and as he says in his word we will reap what we sow, I do not believe that it is ever appropriate for us mere mortal humans to judge other humans on these issues especially when that other human has just experienced tremendous loss. 

I do not have the answers as to why Abby had to die at 3 years of age, but I still cringe at the quiet whispers of how it was most likely God’s judgement for our earlier marital separation and my wicked and rebellious spirit. 

I also know my sweet friend’s choice to allow her young adult son to attend a secular university was not the reason for his early demise as a result of nasty cancer. 

Yes, people actually do say these kinds of things. Well meaning or not, they are not words necessary in times such as these!

If you have “judgements” that just must be stated, hide yourself in your closet and talk to God about them! Don’t share them with others and most definitely please have mercy on the hearts of the grieving and don’t break their already fragile hearts into more pieces. 

Judgement is God’s job and HIS alone!

#1. Grief is NOT a time to expect normal.

Patsy Clairmont says it best. “Normal is just a setting on your dryer…”

Nothing will ever be normal after you have lost. 

This can be best explained when we look at those who have lost limbs. Yes, a prosthesis can be helpful! But that arm, leg or those teeth are still never going to be the same and will be daily reminders of what used to be. To expect someone to pop back to their old self is unfair and adds unwarranted punishment to the stress of continual grief. Part of our heart is gone. Life won’t ever be normal.

Grief is a time for you to muster all the care and kindness your soul has to offer and asking God for more when you start to feel emptied out .  It is checking in on folks in the weeks and months that follow, not just the day of the funeral. Pray. Take a favorite meal.  Send a plant. Write a meaningful letter that is not full of cliche things like Heaven got another angel or All things work together for good…It’s ok to say that you don’t know what to say. Let them know you care then watch for ways to be Jesus with skin on.

Most of all truly seek God’s heart on how you can minister best to those who are closest to your corner of the world!

A Spoonful of Comfort

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Today my precious baby should be turning 11. Instead we are in year 7 of her living in Heaven.

Grief has not been gracious to me pound wise. This year, I have taken some drastic steps to change my habits and hopefully my thought process in the kitchen, which has always been a haven to me in different seasons both grief and joy filled. While food is the center of so much, I am finding a new found zest seeing how yummy healthier can actually be!

While learning to turn to God for comfort instead of food, I can’t help but believe that he doesn’t condemn us for enjoying the beauty in the gifts he surrounds us with. I can’t imagine that He wouldn’t enjoy the tastes and smells of a ripe juicy peach or the smell of coffee brewing. After all He is the one who created us with emotions and the responses to them.

Recently I stumbled across a delicious peace crisp that I have been experimenting with. While I am still perfecting it, I found it to yummy to not share. It’s warm fall-ish smells filled my kitchen as it baked and did not disappoint when I scooped the first spoonful into my bowl. I was delighted to see the combination of ingredients contained very little sugar content and is happily gluten free. The nutty crumbly topping is my favorite.

A few things to remember if you try this recipe….

I have tried it with apples and it is equally delightful! Frozen peaches can be used though the end product is more runny. It is best when used exactly as written and with fresh peaches however today I tried maple syrup instead of the brown sugar and while it definitely doesn’t seem to brown as nicely it was still quite amazing.

Without further ado, here is the recipe!

6 peaches

1/3 c honey

2 T. cornstarch

1 t. vanilla

1/2 t cinnamon

Slice peaches and combine all items together in a 9×9 pan.

Topping:

1 c oats

1/2 c almond flour

1/3 c chopped nuts (I use pecans)

1/3 c brown sugar

1 t ginger

1/4 t salt

4 T softened butter

3 1/2 T greek yogurt

Bake at 350 for 35 min OR until crumbs are lightly browned.

Enjoy with a glass of milk or a scoop of Greek yogurt.

To Love and To Flourish

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I have come that they might have life and might have it abundantly…John 10:10

This week as I sat with a new friend, she spoke some words that have been long tumbling about in my heart. They came out something like this…

What if Christ’s church could truly grasp the need for prayer for the marriages in its midst? 

Though I had just officially met her about an hour before, the passion in her eyes and the tears that accompanied her words matched one of the deepest passions in my heart, a passion most likely growing there because of my own marriage’s history. 

If you have been here with me for very long, you may have heard me sharing tidbits of God’s miraculous healing in our marriage. Though we are so very far from perfect, we have come a long way from the two hurting people we were during one of the most difficult seasons of our 24 years together. 

Lowell & I have often pondered the responses of well meaning family and friends during our 11 month separation. We have talked about how things could maybe have taken a different path, had we, in our hurt not helped the social circles around us draw those lines in the sand and “create sides”. While wall building and side taking can seem like natural responses when people we love go through difficult relationships, especially in marriage, this may not be the response that ends up promoting the most healthy outcomes. 

((Now I’m going to stop right here and say that I do firmly believe there are exceptions! If you or someone you love, lives in an abusive marriage where there is physical danger, some “side taking” may need to take place in order to bring the abusive spouse to the help they need.))  

I also am well aware that openly hurting marriages draw attention. People talk and suspect and pass judgement. Of this, I too am guilty.  

But here again, my personal experience kicks in and reminds me of the pain of that judgement in a time when my heart was already in a million teeny tiny pieces. 

My new friend went on to say how she felt that we as Christians need to motivate one another towards flourishing marriages, realizing that it is God’s calling on us to live life (which includes our marriages..) well and not just merely getting by. 

What if we were more transparent with the struggles we face in our marriages? I firmly believe that no matter how well a marriage looks to others, there is still always room for growth and encouragement. My heart has broken again recently as I’ve watched people I love reach the broken place of divorce after appearing “just fine” to those of us around them. 

What if we spent as much time teaching on the healthy gift of God honoring marital sex as we do telling our young people to abstain and wait for marriage? Now I am not saying that great sex is the answer to all marriage problems, but as I have read more of what the Bible says about this amazing gift, I think it could be given a little more attention then it is!  I won’t get on my soapbox right now….

What if we worked as a church to encourage one another in our marriages by finding and providing tools to help marriages thrive?  For Lowell and I, traditional Christian marriage conferences only served as  just another miserable weekend and a space to argue.  Not until we found Mark Gungor’s “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Series”, did we truly begin to understand each other and gain the ability to embrace our differences. Does that mean that particular conference is the only way to encourage marriages?  Absolutely not!  Marriage encouragement just like marriage itself, is NOT one size fits all.  

What if we really did spend more time on our knees for our own marriages and for those marriages around us realizing the miracle containing power our prayers can contain? 

James 5:16 hits the nail on the head where it says, “Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much….”

As I have said before, I would love to pray for you! And I would love it if you would do the same for me! May our focus be on the one who can indeed cause our lives to flourish!