Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…
As I sit reflecting on the last few years, my mind is drawn to the fact of it being the first week of May once again and my heart overflows with gratitude to God for his faithfulness.
If you’ve known me for any length of time, you may remember hearing me continually prattle on about my barrage of health issues, surgeries, hospitalizations and long periods at home which is a trial in and of itself for this social bird.
While I will probably always question grief’s affect on my body, I also acknowledge how amazingly God created us. Sometimes we will not have answers to life’s tough questions (health issues, death, grief, loss…) on this side of eternity.
As I entered 2017, I could not have imagined the journey of the next months and years. This exact time of May in 2018 found me hospitalized with mysterious symptoms that ended up being staph infection and an antibiotic resistant sinus infection that had gone septic. I remember slipping into a nearly unconscious state as my temperature skyrocketed. All I wanted was cool for my burning head, but also warmth for the rest of me which was trembling with cold. My words no longer came out even though my mind was actively trying to make them.
I remember my friend Connie standing vigil at my bed, covering me with prayers.
Those prayers, followed by her reassuring touch on my hand jolted me back to reality. My doctor, who did not make rounds at the hospital any longer, was there, out of breath from having dashed over from his office across town. He has told me multiple times since how he thought I was gone. It’s kinda scary to think about when you hear it that way. But, that’s God and his faithfulness protecting my very life for some reason.
I’ve not always been sure about his plan, as my health has continued to be temperamental. But as I’ve continued to cling to faith I have truly experienced his goodness and mercy time and time again.
Fast forward to 2019 which once again found my still recovering self in undesirable health related circumstances. Biopsies with unknown results, strange tumors, and the inability to continue the work I love, did not deter God from being faithful.
I still stand in awe at how he used a new radiology tech to lead to the discovery of the tumor on my thyroid which had actually begun to, unbeknownst to me, affect my swallowing. I am thankful for his goodness in allowing the end results to be good.
In the current quarantine of 2020, He continues to show his goodness. While my nature would normally tend towards fear, He has stayed close reassuring me with his presence and meeting all of our needs in sometimes unexpected ways. It seems fear dominates daily life, especially on social media. I ran a small experiment on myself recently and found my anxiety and depression levels much lower the days I stayed off of social media and abstained from watching the news.
It’s not rocket science people!
God has gifted us with his word which admonishes us many times to not be afraid.
And while each of us copes differently, I am thankful for encouragement from friends who help me focus on God’s daily goodness and mercy. My hope and prayer is that I can portray his goodness and care to those around me!
Psalm 23
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.